Outdoor Anywhere collapsible shovel

Description

Beat back those fierce wild animals with this outdoors man... (scratch that,)  Woman... (scratch that,) Person... (scratch that,)... IT! piece of metal any semi-sentient being puts in their backpack in order to feel that righteous hiker vibe, take no cheese, leave no memories, recycle your shit, hike responsibly, usually in a forward direction, although (
we can’t judge now can we?
!)
This thing will snap apart with any serious use, it is New Age nonsense that belongs in the dumpster, thus I might be passing it along to you... you who had the vision to look for something like this, you who also belongs in the dumpster, as long as it’s an echo friendly disposal unit. Go vegan and die.
Chances are, that you were offended by this, but what else am I supposed to do...lie? This thing really is silly in every respect, designed by people who 'have not' and 'never will' use hand tools in any situation other than the intensely recreational, sand box activities come to mind, or as a child's first toy, maybe even filling some kind of role on a day hike, such as when the perennially discontent, and then suddenly outraged female of the group has yet another tantrum under the hot sun, resorting to this over sized nail clipper for quick venting on a small rock or upon nearby flinching pseudo-males.